I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
She said her name was "party"
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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