i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Shame is for Republicans.
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