so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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