i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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