Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
