I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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