the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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