On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
