Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
