I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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