dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
