Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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