I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize