I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
