I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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