Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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