i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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