oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
