nutella sex= disaster
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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