tell your sister to shave her snatch
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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