you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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