so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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