Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
