I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's get the cat blown out
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