Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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