Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
