honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
