i can't believe i had my finger in that
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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