and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize