I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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