he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
