And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
someone get that fucking seahorse.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
