i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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