$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize