does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
