just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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