Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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