Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize