if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
