My hand turned me down
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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