I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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