Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
40s are totally the cure
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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