i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The uberlube is also flammable
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
