i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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