she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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