Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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