well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
