So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Randomize
