my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize