I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
