I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We got so high we made milksteak
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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