is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
