Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
