Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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