walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
