How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I got her a Nickelback box set.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
