He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
