you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Randomize
